This is Motherhood.

For the last few days my daughter has been clinging to me as if I am going somewhere. She is refusing to sleep at her normal bedtime because as soon as I leave the room after she’s fallen asleep, her eyes pop open and she is whimpering with fear in her voice. I know she knows that I have left and that scares her.

If any of you are familiar with the wonder weeks, my daughter is in a period of time where she is understanding the concept of separation and that her mama, her comfort zone, can actually be taken away. And it kills me that she is having this fear, this anxiety.

But it also kills me that she is not sleeping at 6pm like normal, which means dinner is delayed, which means housework is delayed, which means every other priority that I need to get accomplished before I go to bed is delayed. It makes it hard on this mama.

BUT. This is motherhood.

Motherhood is sacrifice. Constant sacrifice. Motherhood is where love begins and ends.

Motherhood means sometimes delaying something you need, to give your little one something they need instead first.

Motherhood is spending an extra 10 minutes or two hours cuddling because your child just wants your attention a little bit longer.

Motherhood is reading the same bedtime stories over and over again.

It is playing the same games. Singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” ten times over. It is having to sit through cartoons and actually finding that you like watching some of them.

Motherhood means doing what is best for them. But it also means not forgetting to take care of yourself. Because an unhappy mom, most of the time equals unhappy children.

In the beginning I had a hard time adjusting to motherhood. I never realized how selfish I really was before having a daughter, but motherhood really forces you to take a hard look at yourself and your ways.

Motherhood means getting less sleep if it means helping them sleep better or more soundly. It means getting up at 5am when you really want to sleep in until 10.

It means pushing through the hard points and doing the best you can. It means sticking with it especially when you are in complete doubt of your self and your abilities.

Motherhood is moving outside your comfort zone. It’s changing diapers in the back of your trunk. It’s walking around the store with baby vomit on your shirt and not knowing about it until later. It’s forgetting to pack snacks in the diaper bag. It’s being the mom that doesn’t have it all together. It’s admitting that you are not perfect. It’s showing up late to everything because some kind of explosion or meltdown always happens right before you are about to leave the house.

But in the end, motherhood is the most rewarding job of all. It is worth all the sleepless nights and skipped meals. Because when they look in your eyes and smile, it’s like everything melts away. All the frustration, all the fear, all the doubt, all the exhaustion, and all the pain.

Gone.

Because they are worth it. Because all of it is worth it.

This is motherhood.

And Mama, you are doing an amazing job at it. Don’t forget that.

xx Mama with Grace xx

P.S. Don’t forget to check out the Mama with Grace Shop! I’ve added some new styles to the shop this week!

You can shop direct here or click on the header that says “mama with grace shop” which will take you directly to the shop’s site!

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Six Month Update and The Benefits of Risk Taking.

My daughter is going to be six months in a few days, guys. SIX MONTHS. Can you believe that? How did half a year already go by? She has been growing in front of my eyes and it’s just amazing to see how this little human is developing.

Let me tell you – her personality is truly popping out and I know with more time, it is going to shift and mold even more. But she is one funny kid. Loves to laugh, giggle, and smile. She is happy about 90% of the time and the other 10% is only because she is needing something, which is very understandable as babies communicate through crying.

I think my favorite thing is the fact that she is so responsive towards me. I feel like I can tell her anything and she understands. She will share a big smile when I need it. Grasp her hands around my neck when she knows I need a hug. And will cuddle with me when I’m in need of extra love. And I don’t know if she’s aware of what she is doing but I think she is. She is incredibly smart and I feel like before becoming a mom, I really underestimated babies. I always thought they didn’t really know what was going on, but they are SO smart! And I think it’s because they are SO in tune with their natural instincts. I feel like we lose that over time as we grow into adults, but there is so much to learn from little ones!

We started baby led weaning not too long ago. I know you’re supposed to do it at six months or really when they are ready, but trust me, this little girl was ready. She has been so curious about foods since she turned 4 months old. But once she started sitting up on her own, my mama instinct kicked in so I thought why not? And boy was she ready. She was grabbing at the food and putting it in her mouth like she knew what she was doing. No issues at all. And I was really surprised because this mama has had so much anxiety over feeding her solids, especially with the idea of choking and all. Obviously, I am still extremely careful but it is really tough watching your baby girl feed herself and not having that urge to just take the food out of her mouth.

That is one thing about baby led weaning that freaks me out and I am still expanding my own personal knowledge of the whole process. I am just deathly afraid of her taking a large chunk but I read that babies instinctively regulate their intake and use their heightened gag reflex to spit out whatever is honestly too big to be swallowed.

I’m not going to lie though, I have been giving her some purees as well – the organic store bought kind but also kinds that I have made on my own. She gobbles those up too, and sometimes will take the spoon out of my hand and feed herself. I swear this kid is months ahead of her age. Or maybe all babies are that way and I just think mine is special. Either way, I am IMPRESSED.

I was afraid that this might confuse her especially with the baby led weaning but so far it hasn’t. She knows food is food. And she somehow knows the difference between purees and solid chunks of food. I honestly don’t know how she does it but I trust her. Yep. I trust my little six month old. But of course, I’m always right there, watching over her safety.

Other milestones. Well. She is rolling back and forth now. Flops right onto her back from being on her tummy and right back again. I call her a roly poly sometimes. She sits up mostly unassisted too. She’s a bit wobbly sometimes but manageable. One thing that truly made my mouth drop was the other day when my husband was like “look honey what she can do.”

She was in her crib and she put her hands on the rail of the crib and pulled her up to a stand and she just stood there! Holding herself up like a big girl on the rail. I mean, whoa. What happened to crawling kid? Of course, I freaked out inside and wondered about what other stunts my husband is trying to teach her during the day when I’m not around but she did really good and impressed mama.

And crawling, folks, is right around the corner. I just know it. She is scooting around when on her tummy and kicking her legs like no tomorrow, sometimes even making herself inch across the floor.

Sometimes I stop and I think, wow I have a daughter. ME. The person who did not want children years ago. But now I just can’t imagine my life any other way. I was born to be a mother. I am a nurturer and healer by nature, cancer is my sign, even though I don’t really believe in astronomy, but you know. But my sign is totally all about mothering. So I know this is the path I was supposed to be on. 

I honestly am so excited about every single moment I get to experience with my daughter. All of her firsts. Teaching her about so many things. Exploring her interests and basically just showing her the beautiful parts of life but also teaching her about the not so beautiful parts and instilling compassion, care, and good values in her.

But most of all, I want to be a role model for my daughter. I want her to look up me like I looked up to my own mama. I want her to know that I am strong and willing to take risks and go to bat for her if need be, which brings me to my next topic.

Taking Risks. I never used to have a backbone. You could say that I was probably the most compliant, easy going individual ever just because I hate confrontation. I still do, but the difference now is, I will stand up for myself if need be. I will voice out my opinions on what I feel is right but I will never put anyone down for thinking anything different. I am truth seeker and a truth spreader.

But anyone knows that the life of someone who goes against the grain is not an easy one. It involves taking risks. And lately because I have chosen this path, I have had to take so many risks but I know they have been worth it.

If you’ve been following my journey, you have probably noticed how my page has evolved from a small blog to now a blog, Instagram, facebook page, and now shop. I plan to expand it even further, hoping diving into other areas of my own personal interests like essential oils, CBD oils, crafts, etc. I want to make videos and create recipes and cute DIY projects. But obviously it takes time. But it also takes A LOT of risk.

Putting myself out there has been extremely vulnerable and difficult, but I feel like it is a distinct calling that I must follow. I’ve had blogs before but none of them ever fit quite right like Mama with Grace has. I know this is something big or at least that is what I am telling myself. I know this is my change to help others and bring awareness to certain things, but also to make a difference in my family’s life and my little girl’s life.

But like I said, going against the grain is not easy. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of friends because of it. Maybe people didn’t know me as well as they thought they did, or maybe they just never took the time to do so. I’ve always been the same, I guess parts of me were just more hidden than others and now that I’ve given myself permission to just be myself – ALL of myself – I think some people just don’t like her.

BUT THAT’S OK.

I don’t need to be loved or even liked by everyone. I don’t need everyone to agree with me. But I don’t tolerate bullying. And if you don’t want to be friends anymore, that’s ok. Nobody is forcing you to be.

But I bring it back to the fact that it is emotionally difficult to experience. You start hear people talking about you, treating you differently, not being as friendly, looking at you weird. But it’s ok. I am on my own path.

But the good news is – through all this I have discovered a whole new tribe of people. All just like me. And it is amazing.

Most of these people I have met online and some of them have become such good friends, better than the ones I had in real life.

I haven’t had a real friend in so many years and I was scared that I would never find another for a long time, but I trusted God. I knew he would bring the right people into my life. And He did. He actually has overwhelmed and showered me in women – fellow mama’s – that are on the same path as me and who are mostly Christ believers.

I wouldn’t change anything for the world. Yes, this journey is rough. Yes, there are many risks to be taken. But it pays off. It will continue to pay off as long as I trust in the Lord. He will provide it.

He has this far and has faithfully brought me through multiple moments in my life that I thought I would never get through. So I know as I take this next step into further developing my blog and my shop and even these new friendships, I know that it is going to lead me to somewhere unbelievable. Somewhere I can’t even imagine yet because it is so big.

See, that is how we have to think. When we take risks, we have to believe that God will follow through, especially if we are working within His parameters and guidelines.

Anyway friends. I leave you with that.

xx Mama with Grace xx

p.s. Have you had a chance to check out the Mama with Grace shop yet? You’ll find cute mama and children apparel like seen below.

Decide to shop small and support small business owners like me! Click here to be taken to the shop.